Today is all sunshine, spas, smiles and serenity (and a smidgen of almost sunstroke)

Day 9 AND I'M FEELING FINE

Did Australia just get even prettier? I made my way to St Kilda on a gorgeous 26°C day with perfectly blue skies. Starting out with 2 hours unwinding at Sea Baths, taking aromatherapy steams and the luxurious like. Nobody doesn't love the steam; as Joey Essex would say (not that I'm a fan) it's REEM. Largely spent the time leisurely floating around the hydrotherapy spa pool like a slovenly manatee. Bubbling in the jets as they massaged my aching back was blissful. The lane pools were quite deep for a non-confident swimmer such as myself so I didn't stray from my depth in the cooler waters. 

Ahhhhhh my eyes!! These baby blues have seen enough man bum and moobies to give me nightmares for 5 years!!!!!! Why has nobody told them that speedo season is over for them? I could never parade the pool in skimpies as I'm very much not okay in my own skin every day anyway, let alone being in swimwear around any person. What made my self consciousness shoot up several notches was the presence of some supreme hotties hunks doing the rounds too. Hubba hubba ;) And there I was, feeling like a Pig woman and probably will for the rest of my life!

When using the baths, you can exit directly out to the beach so I gaped at the paddle boarders taking a short class; then waded out to the ocean. In which I happened upon and by a whisker dodged being stung by, a jellyfish bobbing along. Couldn't tell whether it was dead or alive but I wasn't sticking around to find out! This was my closest encounter with anything that may have been deadly on my travels. It is lucky that I put my ninja-warrioress-o-logy to effective use. 

Took a stroll across the ocean front to dry off from my dip. I was sporting the wavy, beach chick hair after failing to bring a brush and leaving it wet after swimming. At first I deemed it a bit sexy but bid adieu to any remaining speck of sexiness when seeing my reflection revealed the truth. I now had crazy pulled-through-shrubbery-sideways hair!

Oh poo hoo, lost again!! Could not find my way to Lentils as Anything so had to ask for directions twice but made it in the end. I straight up love this special place because it is run by volunteer dudes and you pay what you feel the meal is worth; leaving the donation in the wish box. The thali platter of: rice, curry, poppadom, salad, lentils and some yummly dressing was tooooo delish for my lips! I expressed appreciation to the sole chef and single waiter for their kindness and left my offering, to help towards their wages and to keep the operation going. The ingratitude of most was evident which is sadder than sad. I didn't see a single other person thank these angels for their tireless efforts the whole duration of my lunch :(

Can you imagine catching a tan in MARCH?! Cos I can't and never will. I have the pigmentation of a vampire, so no matter how long I sat by Luna Park basking in the eternal sunshine beating down upon me - it was never going to kiss my skin. I chillaxed and (figuratively) beat off the squawky, garbage from hell seagulls threatening to bite at my ankles! 

Through the creepy clown's smiley mouth, you enter into the madness of Luna Park. It is ancient as amusement parks go, having been built back in 1912 but it is still real neat to visit. There aren't a great deal of rides and everything is ridiculously overpriced at this circus of fun, so I just perused it all in minutes. I liked watching the scenic railway which is the world's oldest wooden roller coaster; the ride operators rode it standing up! LUNAcy! I fled the insanity seeking frozen treats. 

Rocked up at 7 Apples (artisan gelato) by virtue of being a Rianne, we are required to give the Aussie's version of Italian goodness (which is an IMPOSSIBLE level to match) a whirl. But now I rate the Oz stuff too! WHOA NELLY! My cup of ferrero rocher (with chunky bits inside), raspberry sorbet and coconut with passionfruit was indeed a fruity, passionate affair. I'm in love with the sweet and revitalizing flavours which complemented one another remarkably and I spooned up every last lick :P Legen..wait for it.. DAIRY! :D I could totally live off gelato <3 

On to St Kilda Botanical Gardens, needing to cool down in the shade to avoid sunstroke. Sitting in the breeze, watching old fellas play life size chess is unexpectedly nice. Here, it is a tranquil oasis of greenery and a much needed breather from a week's worth of hustle and bustle of the big city. I'm having such wonderful days and making glittering memories but today is my first of  peaceful 'holiday' relaxment. 

The immense sun is too strong for one of pale complexion and an energy booster was demanded. This came in the zing, zang, BANG tonic of Dieter's delight at Beachcomber cafe - apple, pineapple, ginger and mint juice. Zest is ZE best! Pahhhh, to going easy on the sweet stuff! I can get on the floor, slowly do some press ups and build up a rock, hard tush when I'm at home and not vacationing. 

Sadly, I was far too early to see the penguins burrowing when I walked along the pier as it was not yet approaching dusk. What a pity, I love those tiny fluffy wuffles! I would have happily stayed to view my feathered friends but I scared myself somethin' stupid, convinced that a peckish shark was laying in wait, underneath the decking. And with that, strode briskly back onto 'safer' turf not eager to end up in Jaws' guts! 

Dizziness set in as I stood up on the tram back to the city and my stamina was dwindling. I must have had too prolonged a spell in the harsh, amber rays shooting forth from the sun. I, a bowling pin in its path. Lady Montigue needeth to take it easy, forgetting how she reacts to the ozone's hole!

Chatted with my #105 girls back at United backpackers and microwaved the noodles I'd bought from a convenience store. Not that I could actually operate it as an independent woman; no, no I had to rely on a lad .. (we'll call him Mr Microwave for the sake of this semi-story) to tamper with the buttons in order for it to function. Mr Microwave needn't have bothered after all; it was hands down the worst meal I tucked into from the beginning til end of my trip. I like sesame and soy generally but from these sachets of sludgy gloop it was gross. My tongue will not tolerate revolting slop thus I ate only what it could bear and binned the rest. Red Rock Deli, Honey roasted chicken crisps spared my hunger pangs and are fast becoming my favourite Aussie snack. 

I was exhausted every day and the soles of my feet were so sore, that I was snug as a bug in bed by 10.30pm and sound asleep not long after that. Clearly I needed the rest for my body and mind because I COULDN'T wake up until 8.30 the next day. I just don't like wasting a single second on my hols if it can be helped but Grandma's got to get her forty winks or else there's no rising or shining! Off to find more adventures in *MY* Melbs come morning :) 

Smothering all those who take the time to read this with snuggles xx 

Falling in love with koala county

DAY 8, Saturday 7th March 2015 

Dearest chums, in its own crazy way, my world roaming weariness is making me SO happy :) I love it that much I've already forgotten about that darn, dreary part of the planet I descend from! #bigfatsozSouthampton. The one downside that comes to mind is my sinfully, sweet appetite and me looking large as a result of the weight I'm putting on. I could scoff anything resembling pudding or desserty-sounding until I'm SICK! :( While I internally criticised my size, I devoured an apple, powdered sugary slice of calorific pleasure; immediately pretending that never happened. 

THE CLUMSINESS CONTINUES ... Dog my cats! Fat hands only went and spilt damn foundation down her new (albeit cheap Primark) dress but couldn't change as I was out and about. 

No biggie, pero I only spent some of the day hanging out on RAMSAY STREET and ticking one of my lifelong dreams off my bucket list. The Neighbours tour was 1000x more AMAZEBALLS than I thought it could be! Many of the viewers had come over from the UK; yet a few lads had been dragged along by family members or a girlfriend. Standard! We all feel it was a shame that Neighbours Nights are not running right now but I guess they're all too busy celebrating the 30th anniversary this month. Our tour dude Kyle was a real stand up guy and filled us in on all the facts and figures of the show and trust me I quizzed him something rotten :D 

ERINSBOROUGHIAN DID YOU KNOWS...? 

* There have been an astounding 51 deaths on that teeny street plus 40 on screen weddings 

* When filming in the winter months for the summer episodes; the pool is heated and the girls wear heated inserts in their bikinis

* All the home owners of the cheeriest cul-de-sac on planet utopia are paid handsomely enough to cover their mortgages for the inconvenience and nuisance. They are provided with the 40 or so filming dates a year on their court in advance. 

* In exchange, all that is asked is for the curtains to be kept closed, their lawns to be well maintained and any physical changes they wish to be made to the front of their property must be approved with written consent .. in order to fit it into a story line. 

* Because they have to keep the G-rating there are no sex scenes, swearing or material of a mature content. It is laughed at that sex is intimated by kissing and closing a bedroom door. 

It was a 40 minute drive to Pin Oak Court, the world's most famous residential road. No, I don't think I'm weird to be so psyched to be in this beacon of Australian perfection where the sun always shines (often faked by clever lighting). 24 hour security was instated after incidents like a dirty, drunken drongo peeing off the top of what was Harold Bishop's house in the middle of the night, giving the 80 year old man who really lives there a fright. The trespassing toad got a cricket bat beating as served him right!! 

Pretty Ramsay Street def looks bigger and the other way round (to me) on TV; it is itty bitty. We were able to roam free, close up to the 6 properties but without crossing the driveways or trampling their gardens. It was very surreal to be treading on such hallowed ground, that has been part of my life for the best part of 30 years. 

After posing in front of all the Ramsay residences and with the road sign; I wanted to re-enact some of the soap's famous scenes but was let down by my rubbish Aussie accent. I'd used my most nasally voice too! Moreover, of all the crazies who have come to Ramsay Street, I am by far *the* CRAZIEST; supposedly nobody has ever laid across the road while touring.

The casa of the hunkiest police man on TV, who I love love love

Later on we were taken to Nunawading Studios and guided round the outdoor sets, but not a damn one of the interiors as Kyle doesn't have keys to grant us access. I had hoped he'd cheekily have snuck us in!! I'm still kinda cut up that the producers also don't need a short, British extra :( *wah wah wah I'm-such-a-loser wah wah wah*

A blast was had snapping tons of pics throughout Lassiters Complex (Harolds Store, Police station, hotel, The Waterhole and Rebecci Law firm, the community centre), at the bus stop, Dial a Kyle, Fitzgerald Motors, Grease Monkeys, antique store, Sonya's nursery, the lake and pavilion where Kate was shot, hospital, uni campus, history wall mural and men's shed. The entire exteriors are all so close together with a roof overhead, that we rarely see on screen. Every single area of the studios is utilised to minimise filming offsite; including Steph's motor cycle accident where she ran down Ringo, killing him in cold blood. We walked along this tiny stretch of road right by the offices of studio building where this was recorded. The camera angles are technically brilliant to make everything appear larger. 

EEEEKKKK of epic proportions - At Priya's commemorative tree, this is where I was what we refer to as a BIG mouth! I was slating the acting of that character when lo and behold her FRIEND on our tour group, revealed her connection to her. *Wanted the floor to swallow me whole* JK kidding, Menik Gooneratne! I guess she was ashamed of her stint on the show as her fave moment had been the final filming day when her character DIED. 

:) HAPPY 30TH ANNIVERSARY NEIGHBOURS :) The magic is still there and long may it abide. Huzzah!!! Go book a tour right now but only if you don't mind being enchanted by the fictional district of Erinsborough. You'll love every second, for how can anyone feel glum somewhere so fun? 

Thank you TV for bringing Carolyn into my life :) Who'da thunk our very, very not so secret 'shame' of Neighbours loving, would lead to such an amazing friendship? (We met up several times throughout my Rianneymoon for days out - more on that when I get to it) 

Onto the Sea life, being upfront with you Melbourne aquarium is quite small save for the scary as all heck 6 metre salt water crocodile! You can stand directly over his beasty bod on a glass floor; this still haunts my thoughts. Maybe Pinjarra's a really nice croc for all anyone knows; it's seems unfair that you get a bad rap for and having razor sharp incisors and being a predator. That being said, it would be totally stupid and INSANE to approach one or invade its lair. 

THE BITS I DID LIKE - Touching starfish, the submarine walk through mini sharks and smiley faced stingrays and the penguin frenzy at feeding time which was funny to behold. They're crazy for the fish and poop every 17 seconds (Jimmy Fallon EWWW!) as they eat too many for their petite frames. 

Trammed to Shrine of Remembrance - it was very moving to be in the peaceful ANZAC memorial vicinity; especially as we all stood still for the daily lowering the flags ceremony as the bugle sounded. The historical stuff generally isn't my 'thing' but it was powerful and humbling, to take time to remember those who bravely gave their lives. 

At night, I went with some of the #105 girlos Cris, Birte and Felice to Moomba festival along the Yarra River. There was a vibrant atmosphere among heaps of peeps and rainbow, electrified fair rides. I don't really know the origins or significance of Australia's largest community festival but guess it's a celebration of all things Moomba. Moomba  crassly means 'up your butthole!' but the official translation has been declared to be 'let's get together and have fun.' 

SHOCK AT SUNDOWN - We were all spooked by an unconscious girl we came across, sprawled out on the grass and frantic that she was dead. She was young, on her own and not moving. I can't even tell you of the dark terror that came coursing through my veins.. An ambulance was called and a crowd gathered, all too concerned for her to move. Someone was quick to perform CPR and save her life before our very eyes; we were relieved that she came round but did so in a confused, erratic and freaked out manner. Her body convulsed and her eyes bugged out so either she had epilepsy or I HATE saying this because it's a judgment.. or she had taken drugs :( Hopefully she was okay after the paramedics took her away... we were left shaken up so I can't begin to imagine how she must have been feeling :( 

After collecting ourselves, we waited on the riverbanks to watch the water ski jump contest. The evening ended with a beautiful, sparkilised fireworks display either side of us as we stood oohing and awwing, on the bridge over COLOURED water. I was not troubled by my phobia as I was soaking up the poignant moment; for it was *then* that I fell in immense love with gorgeULOUS Melbourne. My life here could be too perfect; I knew it would steal my heart <3 

Magnificent Melbourne

Day 7 (Friday 6th March 2015) 

My alarm clock is not the boss of me! Hence, I allowed myself the luxury of a lay in until nearly 8am!!!! Climbing down from the top bunk is always a mammoth effort but particularly so when a newbie has placed a gigantic back pack in my way. Meaning, I have to summon greater energy in order to leap down ninja-style in the room's darkness. 

I'm not here in Oz solely to holiday; ideally I'd like to do some things that frighten me to try and hate them a little less. Booking a Great Ocean Road day tour, was one of those that filled me with trepidation enough that I was reluctant to reserve a place. Yep, I'd been put off by reading up on the internet about the accidents and dangers of the twisty, ocean side road and cliff edges. However, the scenery in the pamphlets was too spectacular for me to pass up on. 

Let me preface this by saying, I am NOT the number 1 fan of shopping but by virtue of the miserable weather, I for once felt compelled to hunt down some bargains. Back home, this act brings me closer to death :( HERE I rather liked wandering around Queen Victoria Market and snapping up several souvenirs. Aside from that, I had a touristy obligation to purchase a gosh darn, didgeridoo (you betcha I didgeriDID... I have used that pun farrrrr too much!!) but how on earth will I fit it in my case?!!

Turns out Melbourne is *MAD* for Malaysian cuisine and yet I went for the Thai choice of green chicken curry on the menu at Coconut House. Now I'm coconuttin' LURVING steamed coconut rice which came with it but personally I'd sooner swallow my own big toe than the profoundly disappointing chicken they served up! 

Aside from the usual eccentrics, the Melbourne locals are the most helpful and friendliest residents I have ever encountered. Everybody is all too willing to assist you and offer aid in any way they are able. A kind Aussie fella stopped and took time out of his day to help me find the object of my affections. He began by searching on his Iphone and then pointing me in that direction but on seeing my puzzlement as I followed and found nothing there, he finally took me to the door. Why are these gentlemen not in England? 

DEAR MORTALS, HANG ON TO YOUR SUN HATS FOR I'M ABOUT TO DROP SOME LIFE CHANGING KNOWLEDGE ON YOU!!! ***Max Brenner Chocolate Bar*** find one near you, lest you are not into all this chocolatey stuff. I swear this place is heaven on earth thanks to the chocolate elves toiling away. Not only is it full of the yummiest desserts that surpass what Willy Wonka himself could have dreamt up but it plays songs by my other love - BUBLE.  (and that is why all the cool kids come here) It's a sugary present for your taste buds. 

My exquisite exploding choc shot (consisting of: melted milk chocolate, popping candy and white choc buttons adorned with gummy bears) was divine and I want ALLLLLLLLLLLLL the chocolate in all their stores to be MINE MINE MINE. The only downside was how difficult this one location was to track down if it hadn't been for my handsome knight in shining armour. Break me off a piece of dark chocolate cos I wish to partake again and again and againnnnnn ;) Fair warning, you will have to work out that much harder to obliterate each and every sweet, sweet calorie you consume on the premises. 

Something else I've noted is how many British place names are used in Australia. Just on the short journey to Brighton beach (no not the UK one!) I passed - Richmond and Windsor; had I stayed on board I'd have got to Hampton and Sandringham too. I guess that is to be expected because of the whole dumping our criminals upon these shores! 

As per, I had been heading in the total opposite track to view the bathing boxes at Denby beach. If it weren't for another gent who steered me onto the right route I'd still be searching now!! I didn't dare wade even a little as the waves were insane in high tide though this didn't deter the para sailers. Sandals falling apart at the seams are not the most advisable footwear when trudging along sandy pathways. 

I think beaches make me chill. Cos despite the sky threatening to rain and my rain coat clinging to my now perspiring skin like a limpet; all I could see was the sun breaking through the clouds and the sea shimmering. I could get quite used to the bohemian Aussie lifestyle. 

Denby beach famed for the colourful bathing boxes, each one brighter and bolder than the last is worth a quick trip for pics. Unless it was a really lovely day, I can't imagine you'd need longer than an hour. For about the 6th time that arvo, I couldn't find my way and had to ask the natives for guidance! Did the doc cut out my orientation gene at birth?!!! Mind you, I didn't go back to the station I disembarked from because cyberspace would have it that Middle beach station is closer from the bathing boxes. I couldn't tell you if this is fact because of getting lost so dreadfully as is my shameful predisposition to do so. 

In the evening, I walked around the Docklands and up to the Melbourne Star (their version of the London Eye) with my new found German buddies - Birte and Feliz. We had fun photo taking and appreciating how beautiful the city really is even when it isn't super sunshiney. It was then that it rained, giving me my initiatory taster of Australian precipitation. Due to my feet aching to the extent that I'd have had to crawl home on all fours, we took the heaven sent City Circle tram back to the hostel doorstep.