Tuesday, 28 June 2016

The Montigues EXCELLENT adventures

DAY 9, 10 AND 11 - 
MAKE THE MONKEYS DANCE FOR YOU - Salutations readers!! :) Away to the fantastical land of Happy Valley theme park we went as an octet. Just as long as we're smiling and together as a family, I don't mind where we are in the world, but it helps if there are thrill rides. Once more, kids were snapping sneaky pics of us and two teen girls practically rejoiced that I consented to pose with them!! It's not like we're members of **insert pop/rock/country band of your own personal preference here ** With fairy dust smiles and gorilla giggles the Monty monkeys behaved as cheeky chimps through the primate photo cut outs. 

As an overgrown chicken, I generally don't do treacherous things yet lots of dangerous-looking attractions were in my line of vision. Starting out with a gentle, fun ride on the ferris wheel which didn't have me wanting to flee like those dreaded ones that rock and sway. Not gonna lie, I HATED the Disk'O bike spinning ride that rotated us back, forth and round the circular half pipe. My throat was sore after straining it from my vociferations of utter terror. I seriously wish I hadn't been deceived into going on that, particularly as my squeals sounded as though I was being set on fire!!! It has now made my list of amusement rides I will never ever go on again. 
OUR YOUNG AND HAPPY HEARTS WERE THRILLED - Crazy heights are not my thing so I was expecting the suspended swings to fill me with mortal dread. While I'll admit I was scared initially and my face was paralysed by abject fright -- which caused Amy to laugh her lungs out.. I soon relaxed and eventually allowed myself to enjoy the sensation. The Haunted House was not everybody's nightmare.. it was poxy! Only Mum, Joe and I 'braved' following the glow in the dark, green arrows in the walk through 'ordeal' where my mother gripped hold of me too tightly. There was nothing too horrific inside so it was hilariously unnecessary for her to have been clamping my shoulder. Amy got the most enormous stick of candy floss ever known to woman and we delighted in our sickly sweet dalliance with the fluffy spun sugar on a stick. 

Caribbean Storm, the big splash log flume water ride was an exhilarating slash suffocating few minutes. Wearing two ponchos back to front in order to cover my face is an ill-advised act that I  do not recommend as I was unable to breathe sufficiently. Only look to my example as a what NOT to do because my actions were reckless and not thought out. Amy, Joe and myself were drenched down the steep drop anyway as scoundrels deliberately paid to use water shooters to blast us unsuspecting chumps smack in the face!!
BLISSFULLY HAVING A BALL - Dragon in a snowfield, was one of those runaway mine train roller coasters that we love, for it waters your eyes as it rampages along the track. Before we were permitted on, the ride operators compelled all passengers to follow them in a series of warm up exercises; this was the only form of a work out I engaged in throughout the entire duration of our holiday. After which, I convinced Mum to come on the River Rapids with me as the others all wanted to remain dry. Mum's joy was diminished as she was seated opposite me for balance (her in a wet seat, me in the water-less) and ignored my calls to duck under 3 waterfalls in a row! I actively tried to avoid another soaking while litres of water saturated Mum's back; trying to stifle guffaws was useless, I could do nothing but LAUGH LAUGH LAUGH and stayed dry as a bone.  

Dad, Jamie, Amy and Joe queued for over 30 mins (THE longest line length of the day) to go on the Dodgems. I carouselled, returned and they'd barely moved :D A sign indicated that this was not a fair ride for those over 50 years old which Dad disregarded; the old man was humored or his age wasn't obvious to the controller. Brought back more grotesque, insect bites to add to my growing collection of itchy souvenirs - that ain't cool!
I'M ALL FOR THE SIGHTSEEING - Our first port of call the next day was to Jinli Street; a tremendously busy, ancient pedestrian shopping lane, ornamented by prettified lanterns. It gave us a feel for Chengdu of yore and an opportunity to open our eyes and hearts to the time honoured culture therein. Lotsa dosh was spent at the stalls selling piles of treasures; Johannah purchased a fish bag each for me, Mum, Amy and Julie as a sweet present. Our sister-in-law also gifted Joe with a glass ornament that had his name personally engraved inside for a lucky life and Dad a traditional mask. 

We charmed more of the locals as selfies were again requested/expected; most of whom are clearly not used to seeing fair-skinned, light-haired Brits. Dressing very brightly for the scorchio temps of 29 degrees was a sweaty, horrible mistake. The outing would have been a smidgen greater if we'd had time to visit in the evening to experience the vibrant atmosphere of the market come alive. 
CRUSHED A BOX OF POPCORN CHICKEN - Fast food tucker 1 vs Figure 0!! Thanks a bunch fries and KFC-imitation fried poultry, as if I didn't wibble and wobble enough as it was! Us siblings all ate upstairs away from the 'grown ups', swapping stories from Jamie's childhood to embarrass him sufficiently but affectionately. Yet Johannah still loves our brother!! :D We've all become closer with her and are now doubly blessed to have her as part of the family. 

At Sanguo Tea Garden, we observed a Sichuan Opera face changing show which is famous in the region. It was a tea ceremony where a guest was accidentally scalded on his arm by a highly remorseful waitress. A kettle with a spout measuring over 66cm in length, called a long pot filled with boiling water was skillfully poured into china teacups as part of the act. A young woman swayed a cup and saucer in the air for minute after minute; it must be symbolic but of what I know not. The Kung Fu kettle master did his thing and Jamie was beckoned onstage to replicate the pouring skills; in spite of giving his best efforts he still spilt water onto the tablecloth. Lastly, the face changing performer took to the spotlight for an extremely short exhibition of this adept with-a-slice-of-creepy spectacle. Multiple layered masks were removed with lightning speed and nimble fingers all in the blink of an eye. I embraced the wacky and loved the weird..
WE SAW WONDERFUL THINGS - Express bused to the National Heritage Site of Du Fu Thatched Cottage, a scenic park where the revered, Chinese poet born in the Tang Dynasty once lived more than a thousand years ago. He built his thatched home beside the Flower Rinsing Creek; it is here that he penned 240 poems precious to this country. In order to be considered one of the all time bests, he must have been pretty great with verse. Ambling 59 acres of vegetation, I had the realisation that  China is much greener than I ever envisioned. 

An overload of pretty met us around every bend as we continued to delve into this wondrous land of pagodas and bamboo groves. We climbed to the top of the bell tower to wave down at Julie and Johannah, while appreciating the views from above. The grounds are a place of peace, until your father on cloud cuckoo pops out from the bamboo! Du Fu's home was  a darling, little thatched cottage which has been reconstructed in the fashion of his very modest and plain hut. I was a ball of smiles feeding the insatiable fish in one of the ponds. 
DO I KNOW PASTA OR WHAT? - Our last supper all together was served at Capricciosa, an Italian ristorante with Japanese influences. With just one sniff of my spaghetti, I was onto the fact that it contained cheese (when the menu didn't include that ingredient) so Johannah had it swapped over. I wasn't expecting my spicy tomato, onion and chilli pepper sauce to be so awesome but I was a very happy customer with every single forkful. A waitress asked if any of our birthdays had been that month and as Amy had hers at the beginning of April they suitably made a fuss over her with a song, a silly birthday hat and bestowed her with free pineapple cake and chocolate ice cream! The cake, I lusted after until Amy gave me a beast of a bite which was as soft as clouds. 

Jamie's boss gave us a tour of the enormous school he works for; we had to wear shoe coverings to minimise the risk of infection. The facilities are outstanding including: pools, music and art rooms, dance studio and a room full of teeny tiny beds for the Kindergarten aged children to take naps - TOO sweet!! Jamie showed us what he does daily and gave us an impromptu mini lesson like we were his child pupils. It was nice to see him in this setting as he's in his element and thriving out in Chengdu and now we can picture his place of work when he shares stories with us. 
JOURNEYED ALMOST TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH TO BE TOGETHER -We've had the best time in China as a family which made my heart so happy so when it came to the airport farewell, the mood changed to downcast. No matter how we tried not to get sniffy, we were all more than a bit emoshi as the waterfalls of tears fell before our departure. I know we can still communicate via Wechat, FB and Facetime but we can't give Jamie and Johannah hugs! It's just unthinkably sad not knowing when we will get to see them next; it could be months but it may even be years :'( While I will NOT miss the hole toilets (which I must have become used to as I barely gagged once when I passed them by at the airport) or insane traffic, I'll miss these two beyond belief.. and now home to Britain.. for my beige, vanilla life.. 

Friday, 10 June 2016

More Montigue moments of impulsivity

DAY 7 AND 8 - 
Giant pandas are the pride of Sichuan so we took off to Chengdu Research Base of Giant Panda Breeding to see the lazy lovelies. Most of the enormous teddy-like bears were bush tuckered, snoozing among the trees as they're meant to be most active earlier in the mornings. I had a desperate need to see the National Treasures of China and the sweetie hearts were no disappointment; I couldn't stop smiling :) 

I NOW OFFICIALLY BELIEVE IN LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT - Panda mobile shuttles took us on a joyride round the pretty grounds, enabling us to get our bearings of this peaceful, natural setting. My first up close encounter with these black and white, solitary mammals had me mesmerised as one cub hung upside down being hilarious. I appreciated the large enclosures and that visitors obeyed the signs to not startle the adorable animals as they hate noise. 
Beholding these beauties and their playful antics from only feet away brought so many such joy. They chilled in their trees thinking they're the cutest and they are! None seemed remotely phased by all the cameras poised in their direction; not exactly known for being party animals but every slight movement made me want to speak less and stare more. One sneezed like the excellent viral Youtube vid which was one of the most delightful sounds I've ever heard with my own ears. Although the larger pandas are in isolated confinement as it is in their nature to prefer seclusion.. I couldn't help but wonder if really they longed for company. Bless their tender hearts!
IT'S HARD TO BE AWESOME 24/7 365 DAYS A YEAR - As we were there in late April, it was smack dab mid Mating and Courtship season which is March to May. Johannah explained that the older male and females are encouraged to reproduce during this period but there's not much romance involved! We weren't lucky enough to see any newborns or the veterinary hospital as there was too much else to see. I couldn't snap any good 'uns with me in frame as the princes/princesses would always turn away at opportune moments.. Plus, I'd had enough of my yucky, hideous face spoiling my holiday piccies!! 
While feasting on their fave grub, the old bamboo our pretties posed for the 'paps'! This plant must be delicious to their taste as they devour between 20 and 40lbs a day, spending 12 of 24 hours eating! One particular panda gave us a spectacular show of releasing his bowels (to phrase it politely) ..no details of that nastiness is necessary! While we didn't have a brief glimpse of any KUNG FU moves, we were treated to butt scratching against branches, after climbing up and down a tree. 

THE FLUFFY FACES OF MY NEW-FOUND FRIENDS ARE BURNED INTO MY BRAIN - I hate to be the one to tell those of you who don't already know this -- only approx 1800 Giant Panda are left in the wild. My sadness cannot be contained.. but I'm somewhat comforted in the knowledge that it's the mission of this research facility and breeding ground to release all their captive pandas once the panda population has reached a desirable level. It was unBEARable to leave all of the gentle, placid beings behind, taking only memories and panda cuddly toys back home. 
Johannah and her crazy husband, Jamie are goofy together but they're fun company and well-matched. It's been so brilliant to catch up with my brother and get to know the woman who has his heart. That those two congenial people found each other in this wild world, gives me hope that I might someday also. Amy and I **galloped with gay abandon to the rose garden to be among clusters of varying pink and red hue blooms. Sweet scents perfumed the air; the symmetrically, perennial garden flowers were so beautiful, you could just ***die! I couldn't keep my eyes off the crystal clear water of swan lake but that's due to being terror-stricken by swans. 
**metaphorically ***gross exaggeration
WHEN YOU WANT TO MARRY YOUR MEAL - I find my mind is often thinking of food so it was freakish that I hadn't given my tummy a thought sooner. It was nearly 4pm when we reached The Bookworm Restaurant to have our late lunch, having lost track of the time. Aptly named for its library of books and cozy vibe that I have now become the number one fan of this eatery.. in a creepy way! Most of the family agreed this was the tastiest meal we'd eaten in China; I began with hand cut rosemary chunky chips which were manna from heaven. I shared round this immensely generous portion as the other plates were still being prepared in the kitchen and we were all so peckish!! My spicy chicken breakfast burrito with eggs, peppers, sour cream, salsa, guac and salad was that hăochÄ« (meaning: delicious in Mandarin) ..I'm getting fat just typing about it!! 
We showed up 20 minutes late to the soiree in honour of J and J which was partly because of traffic and as it took us a while to find the location of the social. Most attendees hadn't been able to come to the big day so they'd thoughtfully put on a marvellous spread at the swanky Fraser Suites. The terrace was hired especially and all were very welcoming and kind :) The hospitality of Jamie and Johannah's friends was something I shan't forget; they'd gone to so much trouble to jubilate their marriage. Cream frosted, raspberry chocolate cake was cut by the newlyweds, smooshed in each others faces and then gobbled down heartily. It was a lovely gathering and the view overlooking the balcony was anything but ordinary; the city was afire with mystical lights of the night. 
VINTAGE CHINA - The following day, was a summery 25 degrees and the whole family went to visit Huanglongxi, an ancient town known as Yellow Dragon Stream in English (for the valley resembles a golden mythological creature). A popular, tourist attraction with a history spanning over 1700 years which is extolled for its organic delights. So pretty is the setting, that the backdrop has been used in many Chinese film and TV productions including Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon which was filmed nearby. Johannah crowned us with fresh flower (as do all sightseers), rainbow headdresses; purchased for the equivalent of only 20 British pence, so it didn't matter that they'd only last the day. Sidenote: We looked cool as heck! We made Dad and Jamie wear them too to make them 'prettier' men! 
We've now also established Johannah's assertive credentials; just when I thought I couldn't like her more she sent sellers packing with a firm 'no need!' as we didn't want selfie sticks or a massage. Through the Western Town Gate of the preserved town and the 100 year old Dragon Door reflecting 'true life of the common people in West Sichuan', we were world's apart from England. Johannah bartered for us at one of the stalls at the West Sichuan Dwelling Culture Street, in times past - 'a prosperous countryside fair'. Her trick is to walk away until they call her back with a better offer. What a handy woman to have around; she's been invaluable to us during our stay especially when it came to us picking out new trinkets and jewellery. 
WHAT'S NOT TO LOVE ABOUT THIS BYGONE STOMPING GROUND? It's a necessity to sojourn to this rustically restored riverside village. With red-ribboned wishing trees, sacred pagodas, Qing era architecture, quaint cobbled streets and surging waterfalls; it looks like something out of an enchanted fable. Souvenir shops aside, it's obvious why Huanglongxi has earned regard as the 'Hollywood of China'. This site is a relaxing getaway to meander along the the rippling Huanglong river which flows right through the centre of this port.  
Not only is it a picturesque spot at Yellow Dragon but the scent of spicy noodles intoxicates the air. Out of our natural habitat, the bananas Brits did as the locals do and had fun toppling from rock to rock as the stepping stones/turtles/frogs wobbled underfoot!! We're crushing this family adventuring :) I was oddly afraid of one vendor who was selling live mice and tiny terrapins, on the grounds of him striking me as a shady sort. I've seen some hideous things in life but the entire carcass of a cow being butchered and carved out in plain view, knocked me sick! 

NOODLING - In an authentic food place, we entered into the convention of consuming the never ending noodle. Quite literally it was one stupendous strand of noodle spiralled to fill our bowl! I chanced the fiery version and loveeeeeeed slurping it down. There's simply no way one can partake elegantly, so the surprise party in your mouth soon converts to drool city!! The gong we passed called out to Amy and I; we couldn't not bang it and yes we probably looked like uncultured buffoons!! 
At a traditional teahouse, we drank hot water and laughed merrily together as we were continually pestered for a back rub or to have our ears cleaned out with instruments of torture. The locals act like we're celebrities here as a tour group hounded us for photo after photo, telling us we were cute/beautiful/handsome; Joe was particularly attractive to the ladies! You'd think we were unicorns or something the way we were treated as legendary beings. We moved away from the madness and left Johannah to take a nap with Julie so we could explore more, passing a group playing a feisty game of Mahjong. Joe assisted his Mumma across the course of boulders as we zeroed in on the mythical monster at the end of the stream and no, it wasn't Nessie!
HOT POT IS AS HOT AS THE DEVIL'S HEAD - Sichuan wowed us with its regional, culinary genius of hot pot at Flower Vine Restaurant. We put our trust in Johannah for all ingredient choices as we didn't have a clue what was what! All manner of meat, root vegetables and yes even flower petals were ladled into the bubbling pit before us - the mild and piquant sides divided. I foolishly braved the spice which upon my first spoonful wasn't half bad then *whoooshh*..I'm talking habaƱero deadly kick to the lip!! Choking on the peppercorns, famed in Chengdu dishes for the numbing sensation was not the most comfortable I have ever been but I womaned up and went back in for further helpings all the same. The girls were in love with our zesty lemon, mason jar drinks. Afterwards, us delinquents enjoyed the sexy mood lighting of Tai Koo Li as the city centre came alive at night.