Bye bye, Zurich. Miss youuuuu!!

Day 7 

I WILL REPLAY THIS TRIP IN MY MIND MY WHOLE LIFE LONG - 

Our final day in the canton of Zurich was a late start as we had to check out of ze casa. It was a basic abode but kept us warm and dry so there's no complaints here. Tramming to the main train station made life a whole lot easier for us with our suitcases. There was an initial luggage pickle as when it came to stowing our belongings in the lockers, it seemed as though all were full and we freeeeeeeaked. It was gigantically stressful but we soon came to the realisation that this enormous HB had many more empty lockers - so no harm, no foul. 

Chickeria was our pick for lunch - it's a festive chicken-based fast food joint which gives Nandos a run for its money. The ciabatta combo dish was a winner in our tum tums. My taste buds didn't deserve how delicious the saucy, spicy sauce was. Afterwards, we didn't bother going to St Jakobs Confiserie as planned as we couldn't figure out how to tram there and besides, we've hot chocolated enough ... IF there can be such a thing!!!!! 

THIS LAND HAS WAY MORE CHRISTMAS GAME THAN ONE WOULD ASSUME. - 

Sechselautenplatz Christmas Village is supposed to be a joyous occasion beside the Opera House with approx. 100 culinary and artsy stalls. It was heaving with shoppers taking advantage of the fantastic weather change!! I couldn't find the Bavarian curling; it would've been magnificent to give it a go after revelling in the icy sport in Ottawa, as a spectator and Dunedin, as a participant. An oversized Christmas decoration shed armed by Nutcracker soldiers was nightmarish inside, for nobody could move a muscle as everyone was crammed in like sardines. Many of the ornaments were trashy tat with extortionate price tags anyhow!!

The ice rink with real ice was a magnificent lure enthralling old and young. It was sweet to see the bambinos using the penguins and pandas to assist their skating. Elfendorfli was an Elf Village playland reserved for the kinder who delighted in checking it out. I wanted to join in with a kid's workshop to decorate Lindt chocolate teddies but Amy considered me to be TOO old to take part.

STEP AWAY FROM THE SWANS!!!!!!! -

There were blue skies for once as the weather was particularly splendid today and devoid of the gloomy grey we'd become accustomed to. Our hearts were glowing as we walked to the lakefront of Lake Zurich which is contoured by the hills Zimmerberg and Albis. It has an average depth of 49 metres and surface area of 34.23 square miles. I had to cowardly bail when a bevy of swans had gathered too close to the promenade, striking fear into my heart! It was a hectic, terrible trauma to be within touching distance of my sworn enemy.

We strolled further along the river bank for pictures without the grey haze from all our previous Zurich days. The clear sky went for miles around and was as if it had been photoshopped. The joke is on the rest of the holiday makers for NOT visiting!!

REASONS 50 AND 51 FOR A ZURICH VISIT -

Marli Tram is the happiest of seasonal trams as it is driven by Santa himself and he's accompanied by two Christmas angels. It has been in operation since 1958, beguiling young children. After catching a sighting, we stocked up on Swiss chocolate in a department store as it's too hard to resist. But am I the only one thinking there's NOT enough Lindt on the supermarket shelves of Switzerland?? 

The beauteous scenescapes as the sun began to set were hypnotising as we looked on at the golden orbs casting down in all directions, before descending behind the horizon. Our last meal was at  Vapiano - one of my fave Italian chains serving ALL the best carbs. Ratatouille penne is to me, what chicken paprikash is to Hungarians - one of the greatest comfort foods. I ate Mum and Amy under the table as they merely souped for their supper. 

END SCENE IN SWITZERLAND - 

We watched on stupefied at the self-playing sorcery of the Yamaha grand piano at the airport which favoured us with Yuletide melodies. It costs an EXORBITANT £32,992 give or take. There was another sensationally flashy, Swavorski crystal Christmas tree blinging up the foyer. Amy spent heaps on magnets as the girl BE CRAY and I, rid myself of my foreign currency change by buying more Swiss choccie. Playing the card game Sussed was a fun way to pass our time at the boarding gate. 

I had somewhat of a DISASTER with my Power Bank because I'm a 'genius' who left it in my suitcase instead of my hand luggage. I'd checked this three times and still somehow managed to switch it over without comprehending that I'd done so. It wasn't until we were midway through security that I had this realisation hit me and I PANICKED. I conferred with 3 airline employees who all assured me it would be fine on such a short flight but I kicked myself the whole way home for my stupidity. We all made it back in one piece to England but I was ever so frightened that I'd be complicit in blowing up the aircraft. 

We were all so grateful for the girl time we had together. The entire dynamic of our week would've changed drastically with the presence of the Monty Men. The 8 days were precisely what I sorely needed them to be; they were like hot fudge sundae for my soul. But we were ready to rejoin the British population. Thus ends this chapter of the Monty Damen's sweet escape of silliness and sweeties. Auf wiedersehn, Pet xoxo 

I only booked this trip cos I ADORE chocolate

Day 6

RELISHING THE PLAYFUL MOMENTS - 

If you're after a holiday lying on a beachy, tropical paradise, full of sunning and chillin in hammocks then Zurich mightn't be the place for you to visit in late November. We loved it anyway! People like a panoramic scene and Lindenhof is the place tourists and residents alike come to survey. It's a cutesy tree-covered square at the site where Romans first settled in the canton. Here you are afforded picturesque city views of the 'Little Big Town' from its highest vantage point. 

Mum and Amy are a bit insane like me, so I crack up so hard when I'm with them! There was a LOT of beyond funny, selfie stick silliness that particular morning as we posed up a storm on the wall. On the swings, sis and Ma swung in sync, laughing loudly like naughty schoolgirls before jumping off.

I'M FULLY INFATUATED WITH THE CONFISERIES - 

Honold Confiserie has been in operation since 1905 and the establishment is esteemed for originating the cherry kirsch baton. My cake radar is infallible as it led me to the immaculate Coeur framboise which was a very Rianne-ish petit gateaux. As the name suggests, it was heart-shaped with a teeny, gold leaf in the corner. The taste was moussey and tangy, light as a feather with a chocolate sponge bottom and subtle undertones of LOVE. 

We ventured over to Parade Platz, while this site was formerly a pig market back in the 17th Century, it is now said to be 'one of the most expensive pieces of real estate in Switzerland.' Zurich has long since been programmed to finance and is acclaimed for its banking and affluence. It had an enormous Fir Christmas tree decked with metallic, jewel tone baubles which would make a fitting Christmas card. Snowglobe window displays with moving images also caught Mum's eye and she commanded that I record her blowing Christmassy kisses in front of it. 

THE COLD COULDN'T KILL OUR SUNNY DISPOSITIONS - 

The lakeside botanical gardens are sublime for a ramble or a picnic when the weather isn't so icy - we faced the frostbite all the same. Holy cow, the autumnal leafage was SPLENDOROUS and a pumpkin orange! 

Budding ornithologists won't find Voliere Bird Sanctuary life altering but it has free entry (though the indoor part of the facility is only open seasonally) enabling passersby to glance at exotic birds like parakeets and toucans. It is also a care centre to treat injured birdies. Thereafter, I braved a gaggle of swans whilst Amy evidenced this photographically. But then, they edged ever closer and I near had a coronary!!!! 

I'M 'ALLERGIC' TO ABYSMAL BEVERAGES - 

We got our hot chocolate on at Café Delish but their hot choco can NOT be defined as delish in any shape or form. Instead it was bland and a grainy, gritty instant mix which was a massive let down. We also did a pleasant spot o' shopping in the Old Town backstreets where we found some outstanding gift stores to spend up our francs. 

At Werdmuhlplatz, we scoped out some more pretty thingymajiggies at Zurich's holly jolliest Christmas market. Amy and Mum split a bun-less bratwurst; I pinched a bite too and we were all taken aback by the spicy kick it had to it. We seated ourselves very early at The Singing Christmas Tree Market - which I believe is known for being the world's first authentic HUMAN Christmas Tree and earned ourselves numb bums as a result. 

AN ABUNDANCE OF MERRIMENT - 

The multilingual school choir became the red tree decorations on the Christmas tree-shaped podium but my camera failed to capture the luminescence. The kids embodied everything that the spirit of Christmas ought to be! Bless them, they had a few false starts as they couldn't hear the piano through the speakers and some mics weren't connected properly. As the headliner of the eve, they lacked professionalism but made up for it in exuberance and hilarity with some stunning solos. 

An overly theatrical guy really giving it some welly with diva-ish sashays and finger flicks gave us a good giggle. Their holiday cheer rubbed off on us and we sang along heartily to the likes of: Snow is Falling, Mary did you know?, Carol of the Bells, Only you and Happy Xmas (War is Over) My phone froze before their set finished as it was exposed to the cold temp for too long :( :( These vocalists have magic inside of them providing an instant gladsome high.

FINAL EVE AND WE'RE STILL SWEET ON SWITZERLAND - 

Afterwards we returned to Christkindlmarkt to seek out some sinful snackage. We hit the nibbles jackpot with a bretzel mit butter which was smashingly Bavarian and not plain as I'd feared, and mini chocolate and coconut donuts which were special indeed even though they were non-cinnamon. I'm convinced I have an antennae that homes in on goodies!! 

The 49ft Swavorski crystal tree trimmed with 7000 crystal ornaments bedazzling was switched on and sparklier this time. Nothing is too extravagant for the second most expensive city globally!! And so, the elite chica squad were to leave the frosty fun on the morrow and head home to the gloomy, grey eyesore of the county in which we live. We had such a fun, old time in an undeniably awesome place and I've never felt closer to my Mum and sister  xxx

It doesn't take an Einstein to determine that Bern is a BEAUT

Day 5 - 

NOT QUITE HOW WE ENVISIONED OUR THURSDAY TO START OFF - 

On the train to Bern, I nodded off and only woke when for some unknown reason, we had to change at Olten; we couldn't decipher the German announcement. It was only when everyone else dashed off that Mum piped up in confusion at the commotion and we were informed that we had to get off. We ran after the sharply dressed men and women hot on their heels to ensure we didn't miss the replacement train service. It was irksome as we arrived 30 minutes after we should have!! Things didn't really break our way as the day progressed either. 

At a mild 9 degrees Celsius, this was the warmest of all our days as we were graced with actual sunshine for an energy boosting dose of Vitamin C. It was sorely yearned for, let me tell ya! The hourly chimes of Zytglogge, a Medieval clock tower were a bit of a let down but the clock face of the astronomical calendar clock (built in the 13th Century) is extraordinary. Kindlifresserbrunnen, a sculpture of an ogre gobbling a sack of babies has been around for over half a century terrifying youngsters. It is quite possibly the capital's creepiest roadside attraction. 

THE GREATEST THEORETICAL PHYSICIST IN THE HISTORY OF SCIENCE -

Einstein's theory of relativity was developed within the very walls of what is now The Einstein Haus museum. The former residence of Albert, his first wife Mileva and their son Hans from 1903 to 1905 is found at Kramgasse no. 49. It wasn't lame at all and Bern prides itself on having this historic monument within the confines of their captivating town. The apartment isn't roomy enough to swing a cat in but is furnished in the style of the era. Interesting videos and artefacts chronicle his life achievements and unravel his scandalous affair with his boo thang, who was also his COUSIN!!!

We lapped up the sun rays to the fullest degree on this gorgeous day. From Nydeggbrucke, a treestone bridge connecting the old city to the new across the River Aare, we could see the sign of the old chocolate factory 'Fabrique du Chocolat'. It was there in 1879 that choccie history was made as Rudolf Lindt institutionalised the Conche technique. 

THE CITY OF BEARS WAS BARE AND WE COULDN'T BEAR IT - 

Should you have the inclination there are a couple of bronze, life-size statues of the Nobel Prize winning genius for you to pose with on a bench. Albert Einstein sits awaiting an intellectual match to converse with in some truly picturesque spots. He's had to sit with a bunch of simpletons in his time!! 

The tradition of keeping bears in Bern goes back to 1513 but I'm not entirely sure why it began. Brown bears Bjork, Finn and Ursina were in their dens hibernating for winter so we were unable to spy them with our little eyes. I don't blame them but the fact is that we were looking forward to watching them while we consumed our usual picnic platter. Still, we had sweet moments between us and our sandwiches instead as we looked out to the sweeping, panoramic magnificence of the Aare River and its surroundings. 

HAPPY ICE CREAMING! - 

With the weather being warmer we had a Magnum and out of all the joyous ice creams on a stick, it's DOUBLE COCONUT Magnum for the win!! A stray cat wanted Amy to love and pet it but my little goober sister wasn't reciprocating. It nuzzled against her knees and still she wouldn't have a bar of soft Kitty's little ball of fur :( Bless its tender, shaking, purring heart! The bear park staff fed it, much to my relief. 

Mum didn't like trudging up the steep sloped incline to the Rose Garden and stumbled walking backwards. As it was winter, we didn't go to paint the 223 different varieties of roses red but we came to the former cemetery as it is a fanciful spot to unwind. The enchanting views of the city from which are said to be unrivalled but we wanted to be the judges of that. As we modelled on the wall, the sun lit up all we surveyed in a hazy way; thus removing the best backdrops from our photos. Amy proved that she's not always *the* good daughter by throwing leaves down onto Mum's scalp! 

BAD LUCK STRIKES AGAIN - 

It was a bit of a bummer that restrobistro Gut Gelaunt had NO ice cream on our visit so we couldn't have Toblerone milkshakes in the home of Toblerone!! I mean, they had ONE JOB!!!! I pouted but we weren't about to let that ruin an otherwise frolicsome Thursday and sojourned onwards to Bern Munster, the Swiss Reformed Cathedral. 

This cathedral is a cultural property of National Significance with a spire measuring 100.6m - making it the tallest in the country. We relaxed in the grounds, listened to the bells toll and looked out over the River Aare as the site was closed to the public for a private funeral. Such a cursed streak!! Overall, our visit to the birthplace of chocolate, where all Toblerone bars originate and capital with a UNESCO World Heritage seal of honour was wonderous and calming. 

THERE'S MORE TO ZURICH THAN JUST BANKING AND RACLETTE - 

Christkindlmarkt in HB train station is one of the largest indoor Christmas markets in Europe with some 150 stalls and it was swarming! We were smacked in the nose with festive scents of cinnamon and mulled wine while we perused row after row of giftable goods. I only bought a single purple, sparkly stick candle from a stall which had all the colours in the spectrum and a moon Swavorski charm as it was too pretty not to purchase. It was a disappointment that the crystal tree wasn't lit up in the concourse as it's the main attraction of this Christmas market. 

We went onto the Lucy lights switch on down Bahnhofstrasse but it was PANDEMONIUM. My claustrophobic nightmare was played out with police struggling to maintain ANY order and we were pushed from pillar to post in the heaving masses. It was nearly scarier than a zombie apocalypse!! These famous, twinkling, polka dot LEDs of 12000 crystals are named after the Beatles song Lucy in the sky with diamonds for obvious reasons. Oddly, there was no grand flourish when the congregation expected a musical crescendo and fireworks.