Did I mention that Switzerland is stupidly STUPENDOUS??

Day 4

THE RIANNE, AMY AND ANN MONTIGUE SWISS EXPERIENCE CONSISTS OF A LOT OF LAUGHS - 

On our fourth day, we trammed to Zurich Zoo after the assistance of a friendly stranger at the ticket machines. Its aquarium has a 'Food glorious food' theme with 8 large basins forming habitats such as a coral reef and tide pool etc. It is part of an international breeding programme and contains over 70 species of fish including the blue spotted ray and epaulette shark. 

The Exotarium 'focuses on the acute threat to ambhibians as 1/3 of all species are threatened and over 400 are almost extinct.' An alligator lay with his jaw agape whilst kiddies squealed to be in such close proximity. The zoo breeds and nurtures many species of frog, predominantly poison dart frogs from South American rainforests. Zurich zoo has established itself as a conservation centre contributing to nature conservation and its credo is 'People who know animals will protect them.' 

MY SLOTH DREAMS FINALLY CAME TRUE - 

The sloth sweeties sure look cute dangling from a tree branch and they were shockingly active in our presence. I could've wept as there was only a window pane separating us! Not even the extreme freeze outside could bother my mood after the dear spectacle of the arboreal mammals giving us their patented lackadaisical, slacker attitude. 

Many monkeys were making mischief and playfighting aggressively in their enclosure. There was a poorly penguin who 'played' with me through the glass like I was scratching its belly. This zoo is also the 'Swiss HQ of the Antarctic Research Trust ART' which is tirelessly dedicated to ensure our beloved penguins long term protection. 

GET OVER HERE AND CUDDLE ME, KOALAS!! - 

Monkey Island is closed after Autumn so we were unable to visit it and we accidentally skipped Zoolino entirely as there is just too much to see. The lion enclosure renovations meant that we only spied a lioness in her lair briefly and we couldn't see much of the sole tiger as it sprawled on a rock far away. However, seals were swimming and splashing away their boredom, Bactrian camels were not very spitty at the Mongolian Steppe (kinda cool that you can stay in a yurt village near them as part of a zoo night walk!) and some alpacas were quite sassy. 

Koalas were reasonably perky from all their eucalyptus. Mum had never seen one before in real life and was desperate for a cuddle! The Australian walkthrough exhibit of Bennett's wallabies and emus were weirded out by us (as we were the only humans with them on their turf); they may as well have been wearing placards saying 'CLEAR OFF!!!!' 

I MIGHT JUST BE IN PENGUIN HEAVEN! -

Our march with the penguins changed my world deeply! It was incredible to be within touching distance of approx 16 King Penguins as we walked with them around the zoo confines. They're a little famous! Y'know these fluffsters can't be rushed as they waddle jovially for 30 minutes or so whenever the temperature drops below 10 degrees C. Children kept wanting to pet them but the Kings were so well behaved remaining in their formation and not escaping. Just thinking back to that day elicits tears of joy! 

Kaeng Krachan Elephant Park cost CHF 57 million and is home to 8 Asian elephants and they're 'kept and bred within the framework of the European Endangered Species Programme'. Only two were released after the area was hosed and swept down but the merry wee souls gallivanted for our viewing pleasure. They didn't swim for us in the underwater viewing gallery .. probably forgot to pack their swimming TRUNKS :D I was wholly gobsmacked at the immense size of their ivory tusks which scream 'CHECK ME OUT!!!!!!!!!!' 

ELEPHANTS ALWAYS MAKE ZOOS AWESOME - 

The Masoala Rainforest opened in 2003 and is a 'mini rainforest ecosystem' enabling guests to witness animals in a natural replica habitat. There are over 50 species of reverberates and more than 500 plants are monitored closely (40 of which are on the list of threatened species). The lemurs were leaping and swinging aimlessly overhead, not remotely impressed by their spectators. 

They bake GOOD in Switzerland! Before leaving the zoo, we treated ourselves to a slice of cake from one of the cafes; mine was a lemon cake with a hand crafted fondant tiger and a splattering of smarties on top. It was moist and full of zest; perhaps only Mary Berry would be disappointed by the offering. When we headed back to the city centre, we huddled together in Confiserie Schurter to share one mug of hor choc purely to insulate us. The cocoa gave me a lady stache! 

ALL BLISSED OUT ON SCENIC SETTINGS AND ASIAN CUISINE - 

We rode the free Polybahn little red train uphill and it puts the FUN in funicular. This teeny railway is the emblem of Zurich and has been transporting 50 passengers every 2 minutes in either direction. It has been operating since 1889 for the students to easily access campus. Many visitors take a ride to admire upon the city views from the Polyterrasse in front of the Federal Institute of Technology. We waited until it was verging on twilight which was exquisitely enchanting. Staring out at the Old Town and Uetliberg from this vantage point simply cannot be missed. 

Kunsthaus Art Museum holds a collection exceeding 4000 paintings of predominantly Swiss art and is free on Wednesday eves so we decided we may as well take advantage of the freebie. As such, there were leagues of gentlemen and societies of lovies circulating and exchanging intellectual opinions on the artist intentions etc. I got bored and was only enthused by Monet, the pop art works and Giovanni Giacommeti pieces. There were some rather weird and wonderful artworks to gape at but I shan't return. Afterwards, it was good to have dinner at Suan Long Asian restaurant - somewhere which was NOT serving the rancid, whiffy raclette. I went full Thai on the degree of spice of my chicken massaman with steamed rice #NOREGRETS it was a spectacular coconutty dish and a generous helping. Another smiley day  in the canton we've quickly come to be very much in love with x x x 

Another day that is going in the memory books forever

Day 3

ALL OUR JOURNEYINGS ARE EXHAUSTING AS THEY'RE JAMPACKED - 

I was up early with my fellow adventuresses to get the train for our daytrip to Lucerne. The gateway to Switzerland is renowned for its Medieval architecture and is encircled by mountains once inhabited by dragons or so folklore would have us believe; it's also where Queen Victoria mourned her Prince Albert for 6 weeks. We were only acquainted for 6 hours or so, but we'll remember its tranquillity always. 

It was a pity that it was grey and bleak as in the summer months Lucerne is especially pretty, but that couldn't stop this heartland city being so delightsome. We revelled in the fairy-tale-like land and ooohed and aahed at the sheer beauty. We had a minor view of Lake Lucerne, Switzerland's 4th largest lake which many remark resembles a fjord, but it was too smoggy to glimpse Mt Pilatus. 

HEY WE JUST MET YOU AND THIS IS CRAZY, BUT WE REALLY LIKE YOU AND WANNA COME BACK AGAIN... MAYBE - 

Chapel Bridge is an idyllic landmark spanning diagonally across the Reuss River. Not only is it the oldest, surviving wooden bridge in the world but it was built in 1333 to protect the city. Scarily, the water tower was once used as a torture chamber!! It's as though a fairy has safeguarded Lucerne with a magic wand, retaining its gloriousness. 

A good chunk of our morning was spent sightseeing its pearl of an Old Town. We especially liked perusing the markets lining the river banks as they do every Tuesday, selling local produce. St Peter's church was being refurbished so we couldn't enter but we saw the Fountain of Fritschi which represents carnival and commemorates its revelry. It is topped with allegorical figures and supposedly Brother Fritzi's grave is underneath the fountain itself. 

I'M A WOMAN; I ENJOY GATEAUX  - 

Bachmann House of Chocolate is one of Switzerland's most prestigious confectionists and also the largest chocolate shop in the country with the most enormous praline showcase. If every naughty treat were free, this store would be my idea of a chocolate heaven! Hot chocolate was embraced and slurped zealously! It was a darn good cuppa even if the foam ratio was a little out of balance, leaving it super chocolatey at the bottom of the glass. 

I simply don't understand the fascination with apricot filling!! My schoggi kiss had yucky apricot jam in the centre. I only got it for its aesthetic Instagrammability, but this cake SHOULD BE SET ON FIRE!!!!!! However, Amy chose well with a mousse cake that was fluffy and silky in equal measure. An awesome feature in the shop is the wall of running, molten chocolate which was supremely enticing; I had to resist pulling a Vicar of Dibley whilst my heart went pitter patter! 

A DEEPLY POIGNANT BUT DISTURBING VISUAL - 

Hofkirche St Leodegar is considered the most important Renaissance building in all of Switzerland. A monastery was once at this site dating from the mid 8th Century. The contrast in furnishings of the plain wooden pews and the overly ornamented furnishings signifies the former upper class/lower class divide. The organist played dramatic ghost train-ish music on its 4950 pipes but eerily the player was nowhere to be seen. Amy and Mum spent a pretty penny in the Old Swiss Shop for souvenirs whilst I obtained a customary, cuckoo clock magnet thingo. 

The Lion Monument known as the dying lion of Lucerne depicts the valiant demise of Swiss soldiers when 600 were slaughtered in 1792 battling for the French King in the French Revolution of 1792. At which time militants charged the Tuileries Palace in Paris! Mark Twain, who I doubt was an easy man to impress, described it as the 'saddest and most moving piece of rock in the world.' So says Mr Twain and so says I! Lucas Ahorn carved the mammal in 1820 directly into the rock wall of the bygone sandstone quarry. We picnicked there and realised that we'd been eating an abundance of paprika crisps as they're dead delicious!! A large tourist group clothed in rainbow neon jackets, stayed a mere matter of minutes for their selfie, not really stopping to appreciate and admire the workmanship.

WE HAVE THE WHOLE MOTHER/DAUGHTER GIMMICK GOING FOR US - 

Glacier Gardens has exhibits of glacial pothole remnants from the last Ice Age (some 20 million years ago) and fossils from plant life etc. from that era of time. The museum, housed in an old home, is informative with many an interactive visual or mountainous diorama. The geological site was particularly noisy during our visit with worksmen digging and drilling. Amy is a regular PRANK Sinatra; she scared Mum by yelling a random German word she'd just read from a placard and Mum near enough jumped out of her skin when she entered the room we'd been hiding in. 

The Hall of Mirrors maze originated in 1896 in the likeness of the Alahambra with 90 mirrors which offer an illusionary semblance of the Moorish Palace and gardens. None of us were injured as we raced through the swanky, Aurelian labyrinth with 'appropriate' childlike excitement and glee. We also loved inserting our face into the kaleidoscope as it warps your facial features. Mum went as far as to do a Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody impression in a video clip that cannot be watched without chortling. Other visitors stepped back to let the Monty women have our time to 'shine' as we did the can can in a distorting fun house mirror. 

KEEP DOING WHAT YOU DO LUCERNE; WE LIKE IT - 

Just taking in the sights from the observation tower deck in a town as quaint and charming as Lucerne ensures that everything and anything visible beneath is EXCELLENCE. After failing to find many of the 9 towers of the fortification, we came to the conclusion that we're not really tower people after all. Museggmauer was built around the Old Medieval Town in 1836 and remains almost fully intact. We tried as we might to access one - to no avail. 

This romantic storybook, mountain canton has several elegant squares to sojourn. Kornmarkt the old corn market or grain exchange was held here until the 19th Century which also houses the Renaissance Old Town Hall building circa 1602. Hirschenplatz was one of our favourites with its decorative, beautiful landmark buildings and wrought iron signs. Stories were painted on the sides of the buildings to commemorate famous people, thank protector saints and to advertise. Weinmarkt wowed with its splendidly gaudy 16th century design frescoes on the façade of buildings in the heart of Medieval Lucerne. Passion plays were also performed there in the Middle Ages. Jesuitenkirche is one of the oldest and most striking buildings in Switzerland. 

MY PASTA RANKED VERY LOW ON THE FINE DINING SCALE - 

Following our train ride back to our base, we returned to the Casa for a rester and to watch the treasure of a show that is I'm a celeb. This series has been GOLD even minus Ant! We also played the card game Sussed that Amy bought me as a birthday pressie. You have to guess the preferences of your opponents from various outlandish, multiple choice scenarios. We were all surprised at how much and how little we know one another, when answering the questions. 

We dined at Ambrosi Coffe Bar which is situated under the arches of the Im Viadukt alongside numerous other eclectic and urban shops and restaurants. The kitchen wasn't open right away, so we had to wait 30 minutes at a table before we were able to order food but that didn't matter as we were able to get a drink. Traditional lemonade in mason jars all round refreshed us. 4 slices of tomato, garlic and basil baguette was split between Amy and I but I found it wayyyyyyyy too crunchy for my teethypegs. I NEED MY MOLARS FOR DESSERT! To be truthful, the verd'ullah pasta dish I chose couldn't measure up to authentic Italian cuisine I'd sampled in the likes of Rome and Florence. The tomato cream sauce and veggies was alright but too expensive for what was plated up.