The path of paradise

DAY 12

Being the MELON head that I am, I very nearly did not take the plunge and book onto a Great Ocean Road day tour. You don't need to be feeling especially adventurous to take the holy grail of road trips but GOLLY GUMDROPS it is absolutely not one to be missed. Not to take up on the opportunity to explore one of the world's most scenic coastlines would be monumentally stupid. The only question to ask yourself is: WHEN?? Get off your rump roast and go, go, GO. 

Surprisingly (to ME who is on red alert to dangers at all times) I DID feel safe on the twisty, turny roadways with our tour guide Rod; just as everyone assured me I would do.   A few big bumps and jolts made a handful of the younger, female passengers scream and flinch - haaaaaaa!! Poor pets! The course is predominantly well barricaded and you can have my word that the tour bus drivers are ultra vigilant and know the route inside out. 

Since I wasn't feeling too bright eyed after the early wake up call, a biccie brekky at Anglesea River (our first port of call) was just the ticket! I took a walk along the river and was beguiled (in the good sense of the word) inhaling in the fragrant morning that had broken. The one disappointment to the day was my pitiful cup of the Milo malt hot drink. It was MINGING because it is meant to be made with milk not the boiling water my tour guide filled the mug with!

Throughout the day there was so much driving in order to cram in as many sights as physically poss. It was shattering for the passengers, let alone Rod. Bless the oldies who snored whenever we were back with our bums on seats; they missed SOOOOO many spectacular views. Either they found the guide's narrative as dull as a butter knife or they were that worn out from being up with the lark or kookaburras in our case.

Made mates with Rina from Indonesia, Kieran from Ireland (with the molten chocolatey eyes) and Maddy from Germany. Anglesea beach was a quick stop and a beautiful one at that, as are they all. Nevertheless, it was shockingly deserted perhaps due to people departing to work or since it is technically now Autumn in Australia.

At Kennett River, I had some fun interactions with KRAZAYYYYY King Parrots and rosellas while I fattened them with bird seed. These blighters scratched up my arm so sorely that it caused me to yelp! A couple fought and then made up pecking their beaky lips, right on my arm. It got to the point, that I needed to leave the love birdies to find a room but of course they were clinging on to me for dear life. No matter how they fight with their birdy buds or lacerate your flesh; you instantly fall in love with these mimickers. I took the one who liked me best for a walkie to meet a koala chum; the single solitary one I saw in the wild. It was pretty precious!

I got to know my outing companions over a non-exciting but good meal of roast chicken, chips and salad in Apollo Bay. A sign at the toilet blocks greatly amused me as it specified NOT to wash your feet in the toilets! The word tripping me up there is 'in' cos WHO WOULD DO THAT????? Apart from drunk idiots? The queue here was so long that a couple of us nearly missed getting back on the bus at the designated time. 

Took a short jaunt around Mait's rest rain forest walk at Otway's which was fine but would have been less fine if we'd stumbled upon snakes or spiders. There were also NO signs of this region's famed black snails (which are only found in this part of the world) much to my dismay; I wanted to see something so gross that we'd have all been flabberghasted. This was a breeze after my 1000 steps the other day; speaking of breeze the sensation of the wind against my skin is revitalising. Hearing the chirpings of crickets and jungle noises emanating from the bush remind me how far from home I am but is also therapeutic. 

I didn't think the 12 Apostles could possibly live up to all the rave reviews but they SURPASSED them all - it is ASTOUNDING. Even though there was only ever 9 of these limestone stacks and just 8 remain now due to waves causing their collapse. We've all seen photographs of Port Campbell's masterpiece of the universe but none can do them true justice. When you're stood right before these rock formations, you do all you can for your jaw not to drop. Yes, expect hoardes of people buzzing around these natural wonders for selfies but nothing can disrupt its unspoilt beauty. This little piece of heaven right on earth really is the perfect combination of erosion and scenic beauty.

On to the BONKERS beautiful Loch Ard Gorge and London Arch (formerly London Bridge until it partially crashed down and two tourists had to be rescued by helicopter) are both equally resplendent. These natural wonders are phenomenal and arguably the real highlight of the Great Ocean Road. Although these attractions are all off the beaten path, they are all very touristy but so fantastical you don't mind. The gorge is named after a ship which wrecked leaving just 2 teenage survivors out of the 54 passengers. Tom Pearce heroically saved Eva McCarmichael from uncertain death; he was 15 years old. So sayeth the very romantically tragic tale that Tom fell for Eva but his feelings weren't reciprocated :( He returned to England and was buried in my hometown at the age of 49. I feel a movie is needed of their story; we'd all cry more than anyone did at Toy Story 3. 

The final break was a pit stop off at a noodle place for food before making our way back to Smelly Melly :P Seriously, I don't know where Rod took us but they boxed up the most amazing chicken teriyaki noodles I've everrrrrr eaten. Returning to the city via the inward route meant that I could nod off as Rod assured there wasn't much to look at as the oceanic views were no more. Our whistle top excursion was jam-packed with boundlessly pretty scenic points of interest. If you are in that neck of the woods and DON'T venture upon the Great Ocean Road (aka the highway to happiness) I'm gon' be FURIOUS!!!!!!!

Fortunately, we had no delays as all daytrippers stuck to the schedule rigidly which meant I was back at the hostel by 8.30pm. I hotfooted down to the bar to see Alan Fletcher's (from Neighbours) group The Waiting Room. Their set ROCKED my socks off!!! The Prince Charming of Erinsborough and his band mates did acoustically cool covers of angels, wonder wall and a medley ending with Hey Jude. My fave was a comical version of Living next door to Alice but all about Karl's soap marriage with Susan. 'What a beautiful life with Susan as my wife' detailing their marital history, complete with some colourful language. 

My mate Kyle from Bunyip Tours, who took me around the Neighbours set accompanied Alan, so we had a quick catch up. I think he's rather taken a shine to the Rianney's infectious craziness as he had not forgotten me ;)  At the end of the intimate gig, I ran right over to Sir Fletcher demanding dibs on his attention! DR KARL IS EVERYTHING; the only Doc I've ever loved <3 I wasn't about to let anyone step on my toes to get to him before me. 

Kyle kindly took my pic with Alan and I starstruck-edly gushed right in his face that he was a legend and that Jackie Woodburne was too. To which he could only agree and  promised to pass on the message to his screen wifey :) Why do I have the tendency to turn into a creepy idiot around the greatest stars? The silver fox called me 'sweet heart' too = LIFE MADE <3 I was all a fluster, as Dr K has charisma in spades for his age and made up that he signed a photo card for me with love xx 

This Rianneymoon is making me the happiest little lady on the face of this earth :) I'm truly fortunate to see the places I see. Good bye for now dear friends, family and any other earthlings who may be perusing my blog xx