THE MORNING THAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN MY ANGRIEST EVER - Why do some guys have to be so gross? It was poopy to be the only female sharing a hostel dorm with 5 of the smelliest lads. The stinky savages have an 'interesting' definition of hygiene!! I DID NOT SIGN UP FOR THAT! I was stuck in hell or whatever may be worse than that but now to talk about something more pleasant and pleasing to the pupils.
Somehow despite my repugnant lodgings, there remained a small measurement of pep in my step as I departed, to leave no stone unturned of the City of 100 Steeples. It's all slightly too French here for me; the inhabitants may as well be speaking a leprechaun language to this English elf.
I have a nose for chocolatey scents and so I sniffed out the bitter sweet blend of hot choc from 7 Grains bakery. This cobbled street was featured heavily in After the ball, an adaption of Cinderella I saw on Netflix. My brew was not especially special but then again, I've never met a chocolat chaud that I didn't like as my taste buds are too fickle. Most cafes and the like in the centre of town don't open until midday. Isn't that lunacy? There's a sweet you-could-fall-in-love-here quality about it so more's the shame that the residents aren't kinder to out of towners.
When purchasing a ticket for the Notre-Dame Basilica, I embarrassingly answered the french-speaking woman in SPANISH! Despite the language barrier we managed to understand one another and I was granted entry to this lavish church and a half! Flickering candles cast an otherworldly glow in a chapel that can hold 4000 worshippers. The Gothic Revival style of the cathedral is grand and a peaceful, contemplative sanctuary breathes underneath the golden starry ceiling. I kid you not: the organ contains 7000 pipes, over 2500 visitors pass through each day and Celine Dion married her late husband within its walls. Unusually, the stained glass is not an array of stories from the Bible but instead depictions of Montreal's religious history.
MY NIGHT KINDA CRAPPED OUT - I was nowhere near as wowed in the Entertainment District by the Quartier Des Spectacles as I'd anticipated. Bright lights shone at night with elaborate wall projections which are artsy but totally nonsensical to a Brit. The graffiti in what used to be the illicit, red light district is 3 scoops of crazy as was the 60 something year old man, who stalked me like a lion would a gazelle. Minding my own beeswax, I was on my way to La Diperie in search of ice cream but he insisted on accompanying me, as he could see I didn't know my way! Try as I might to discourage him, he would not be shrugged off and promised me he wasn't using a pick up line; just that he didn't have anything to do that evening as he's single. Alarms sound in my brain and I was on edge, not wanting what could be a little creep near but fortunately he was true to his word and didn't try any funny business. After me making an excuse that a friend was expecting to meet me, La Diperie wasn't even open!! The quest for ice cream always gets me in trouble.. you'd think I'd avoid it at all costs. With a little luck, a kind chap directed me back after oldie had gotten the message and left me be.
The next day there was no snow in sight so I wouldn't be happy that night, Why is winter so chronically late in this part of the world? It's CRUEL. Gripe nombre deux - Much to my dismay, I'm frowning! It's all due to this sacre bleu Francais!! Slow down when you parlez this language, sports my GCSE French is very stale.
I LIKE IT LESS THAN A LOT - The rain, warmth, sweat and mistiness mingled together is miserable and I do realise I'm not painting a very flattering portrait of MTL. I'm sure it is supremely glorious in other seasons or when it has snowed but it's not so nice in these conditions. Wearing a koala head warmer at the 'tender' age of 30 doesn't hurt my street credibility, reet?
Sophie and I met up to take on Mount Royal but as the elements were so unpleasant a great deal of the paths were closed for the winter. Nevertheless, we followed the stragglers up the large hill/small mountain (however you perceive it) and in spite of the showers, we still shared chuckles during our ramble. You need not an internal compass to come by this mountainous expanse as it can either be seen from a distance or if you walk far enough you're bound to eventually end up there.
#MTLMOMENTS - For loving couples, the ambiance of the plaza wasn't on point in the frightful fog. A sexy date spot - it's not, but even so the city scene below manages to take your breath away as you pause to drink in the horizon. At the Chalet do Mont-Royal, we captured several selfies of us in the red photo frame for this very purpose but oh my golly, my brolly wouldn't behave as it battled against the gusts, blowing inside out.
As we'd worked up an appetite we crammed in 3 courses from Eggspectation. Rianne the determined, mightily endured to eat most of the veggie soup, spinach, mushroom and bacon omelette with fresh fruit, toast and potatoes, followed by vanilla ice cream. It EGGceeded my EGGspectations - I do so enjoy an egg pun although they are not what they're CRACKED up to be! :D The chasms of my intestines had indeed reached their capacity.
HOW CAN ANY FEMALE RESIST A FREEBIE? - At The Nutcracker Philanthropic Christmas market, where 10% of all proceeds went to help support children from disadvantaged communities as well as gift hunting, you could enjoy complimentary chocolates. I was undressing the 5x flavours of Ferrero Rocher with my eyes, until the angel, sample lady offered them all out to me. You don't need to ask me again; I ran over with gay abandon to claim these goodies and oh, how I smiled!
A golden time was had, taking copious pictures of the kaleidoscopic fenestras of the Palais de Congres. The striking rainbow facade of 58 transparent glass panels casts out luminous patterns throughout the vestibule of the Convention Centre.
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