A diamond mine for ancient treasures

DAY #2 

After breakfasting on tasty chocolate pastries and warmed choco milk, we made our way to the closest metro and were stumped as to why all entrances around the piazza were gated off and locked. Having nooooooo idea there was a strike, we ventured out further to Termini intending to catch a train from there to Ostia Antica. *THIS* was where we saw the sign and the penny dropped. Is the entire country conspiring against us? It was then necessary to rejiggle all our plans around on the spot and work out a new route which I arrowed on the map, to make it easier for ourselves.. alas, all through the day we still had to have places pointed out to check we were on course. 

The abundance of churches within Rome are boundless (it is thought that there are over 900!) you can barely walk 2 minutes without the sighting of a house of prayer. St Paul's within the walls, an Anglican-Episcopal church was one of many we stepped into just this day. I pop in to be polite but really as I am no expert with architectural magnificence the phosphorescent stained glass windows and ornamented, auroral ceilings begin to look much the same to me, as admittedly astonishing though they are. 

WE'RE FAMOOSE!! On seeing several signs which read 'Monti' (meaning mountain in Italian) we got gloriously nerdy snapping any we viewed, it being half of our surname.  

The pretty peepsicles populate and chillax in the vicinity of Piazza de Spagna, upon the Spanish Steps which happens to be Europe's widest staircase. It is just where every artist loves to sit, for it is an ideal spot to people watch and draw inspiration. Mum and I sat awhile and roved up and down all 138 of the steps; at least that only left 9862 of our 10,000 a day to go!! Be wary of the flower sellers who flock the top of the Steps; me and Mum naively accepted a single stem rose each which were thrust into our hands and thanked them, walking away as he'd insisted it was 'a gift!' Unfortunately these tricksters are a package deal in these parts and they will chase alongside you for money so we shoved the roses back into his palms; it's best not to get ragey but ignore them in the first place. 

PIZZA - THAT BRILLIANT CREATION OF ITALIA: The man/woman who invented baked dough topped with tomato puree and various toppings was truly enlightened and Italy is a better nation for it! While Caffe Leonardo won't go down in the Rome foodie bible, I had myself a perfectly pleasant lunch of a huuuuuuuge ortolana (grilled veg) cheese-less pizza. Yes, Italians may gasp that pizza free from formaggio is a terrible sin, yet the waiter was only too happy to accommodate my intolerance request. The Mumma was convinced I wouldn't manage every morsel but she forgets I'm a piggy; so prove her wrong I did! :P  

The light, blustery breeze through the trees made me feel so WOOOOOOO as we got whooshed onward, gliding past the imposingly palatial Villa Medici (where Galileo was once held captive). Taking in unbelievable views of what we believed to be the top of St Peter's from Vatican City; also stopping to admire the violet azaleas which I love so greatly. 

FALL HAS FALLEN - I've only visited post-summer but I'd postulate that the Borghese Gardens with it's broccoli-resembling trees are even more of a treat in Autumn. 260 acres of greenery drunk on life and vitality provides serene respite a plenty when you need to hit the pause button on the hubbub of the city. Mum found a huge leaf which blew her away so much she'd hoped to keep it as a natural souvenir due to her astonishment. Can you beLEAF it??? :P We made a wish in a fountain there as the Trevi renos meant we'd miss out on this touristic tradition otherwise. 

My love has no physical limits for Fatamorgana gelato so much so that I can even forgive it for the unsightly belly bulge that popped up after 2 scoops! I guarantee after a helping of fragola and christmassy chocolate with orange you *can* now die happy :D What makes it that smidgen more special than your standard frozen dessert is that all flavours are 100% natural, without additives of any sort. 

Try as we might, we failed to find 'the keyhole' as I'd looked up the wrong address and arrived outside the Knights of Malta headquarters instead. They must have thought we were quite mad and bothersome as we were trying to get onto private property and Mum told them we wanted to see the magic tree, not understanding what it was we were looking for herself given that I'd pre-planned our entire itinerary. The photo below is what we'd been searching out. 

ALTAR OF THE FATHERLAND - Dodging the gladsome Gladiators we entered the MARBLE-lously eclectic shrine for the unknown warrior and eternal burning flame. I got told off for parking my bottom on one of the steps of The Wedding Cake (as it is scathingly dubbed by locals) I'd only wanted to take a break before we went in but was swiftly ushered forth. Loiterers are not liked! The National Monument to Vittorio Emmanuel II, the first King of a unified Italy is free but you can opt to pay 7 euros to ride the glass elevator, Roma dal Cielo up heavenwards. 

Whilst rising to the rooftops, we did have a momentary panic that it may drop like Disney's Tower of Terror as it soared sky-high. Dizzingly triumphant, 360 degree panoramic views of Roma in all its majesty got me giddy. Pinpointing the landmarks from above, helped slightly with my bearings but it's no surprise that I often still took us the WRONG WAY. Birds eye view took on the literal meaning as one of the fattest seagulls ever seen, was perched at the greatest height on the wobbliest pillar, with no intention of budging. Not even for a BUDGIE! :D Sunshine streaming through the clouds made for a phenomenally pretty picture. 

WEDDING CRASHERS: We mistakenly invaded a fancy schmancy marriage ceremony in Basilica S. Maria in Aracoeli. Since we and lots of other spectators had already burst into the non-private nuptials we sat ourselves down behind the real guests so that we could peek in. Snooping on the proceedings with the beautiful bride and her handsome groom broke my little, black heart though it was all obviously in Italian. Even the well wishers were all model gorge, gorgey, GORGEOUS and clearly filthy rich, dazzling in their Louis Vuitton gowns. It was the sweetest wedding I've ever not been invited to and the ambiance was enchanting in part to the flickering candles and glitzy chandeliers <3

Our mere proximity to relics dating back to the 1st and 2nd Century such as Trajan's Market and the Forum of Nerva, will never not stun me.*In Italian accent* I'm-a-so-happy, bellas but of course, all this is just the gravy of the Roman roast dinner as the Colosseum is the main event. We walked back that way and witnessed the 2nd bride of the day being photographed with her new husband, in the middle of the street to capture that perfecto just married picture. This moment just reinforced to me that life is beautiful because dreams can come true. 

The backside of the Colosseum was lit prettifully in what appeared to be purple, we later discovered it was a shade of pink for Breast Cancer awareness. 

Rome took my heart

Let's start at the very beginning, it's a very good place to start (as Maria Von Trapp sang) somehow I convinced Mum we'd be better off sleeping at the airport overnight ahead of our 6am-ish flight. I managed to sleep considerably throughout our journeyings: on the coach, at the airport pre-security, on a bench at Cafe Nero (after one of their frothy hot choccies), later on the floor even and then a comfier sofa before our departure gate. My trick is - the less you think about it, the better you manage. Poor Mum only had 10 out of 40 winks as Gatwick's A/C was swirling around us endlessly no matter how many times we switched location; there was NO escape from Antarctica! 

We went in peace through the sky; all I remember from the plane was waking to a beauteous moment of flying over the snow-capped Dolomites. The next leg of our transport was on TAM shuttle from Fiumicino to Termini station; glimpsing the Colosseum for the first time in *real* life (as opposed to photographs) was the coolest thing! 

GET ANGRY ON OUR BEHALF: The traffic was immense but we naively hopped into a taxi and were ripped off 30 euros by the chap as we were really only a 5 minute drive away from where we wanted to get to! The roads were chocka and he did drive like a bat out of hell but he went all over the mulberry bush purposely and ditched us far from the door or our lodgings, not pointing out which way we ought to go. I'm the dumbest girl on earth, as the money we'd 'saved' from the airport into Rome was then 'robbed' from us when we could have got a taxi all the way there for a flat rate of 48 euros. If I'd done my homework properly, I'd have realised we could have taken the metro just ONE stop instead. Shame, that some of my first thoughts were 'this is horrible! We shouldn't have come!'

The Eternal City is eternally manic and hectic; non-stop hustle and bustle. I literally feared for my life whenever I crossed the streets as you have to look in all directions (sometimes as many as 6!) in order to avoid becoming roadkill. Vespas and the like, will come at ya even when the light is red for vehicles. A good rule of thumb so as not to die on your holibubs is: WHEN THE LIGHT TURNS GREEN, MAKE SURE YOU CAN BE SEEN! Ultimately, I learnt to woman up to these matters :D 

This day will forever go down, as one of the top 10 most geographically challenged moments I've ever had in all my days. It was hard for me to remain in the brightest of spirits when we were getting constantly lost in Roma. The rain made me complain, the maps got soaked and it was nigh on imposs for us to determine which way to go or find our bearings in the first place. Plus, until you're in the heart of the city it is not marvellously signposted which makes life difficult for first-timer tourists here.

What's with the grumbling? I'm in Romeeeeeee! 'Tho we didn't get off to an auspicious start after checking in and frustratingly going round in circles, for the life of us unable to find *the* way - I'm putting some of that down to hanger, si with an 'h'. Sustenance was sought out and sadly, we had to settle for a run down shack of a cafe as meals were not forthcoming anywhere else. 

My lunch was an insult to pasta! At least the arribiatta didn't look like something a cat had puked up but they'd clearly, merely microwaved it up as some of the penne was hard and chewy. It wasn't a fantastico meal by any stretch of the imagination, but I was *that* famished, I gobbled the lot all the same. 

SINGING IN THE RAIN ALL DAY LONG - The precipitation was refusing to let up but that didn't detract away from the magnificence of the ancient pre-BC points of interest mixed with the modern, everywhere you see. Later on, the showers subsided for an hour or so allowing our brollies momentary respite from the battering. Alas, my socks, bag and map were soaked through and I'd be paying the price with the sniffles over the next few days. 

We passed by what was formerly Circus Massimo, the most grandiose chariot-racing arena but is now little more than a park. As long ago as 6 BC,  1/4 of a million eyeballs could watch all manner of athletic contests. It was saddening to see the grassy expanse where abductors sleazed on all the unwedded women and took them for wives. Poor loves would have been quivering in their gladiator sandals!  

BOCCA DELLA VERITA (MOUTH OF TRUTH) - In the portico of the Chiesa di Santa Maria in Cosmedin, we waited in line to have our turn at recreating the famous scene between Audrey Hepburn and Gregory Peck in Roman Holiday. One attempt is your lot with the bearded male made from marble or the the guy who keeps the queuers in check (and needs to chill his beans) will holler! My fingers came away unscathed, thus proving my honest heart for legend has it that the sculpture will bite off the hands of liars. 

The Pantheon is one of the pearls in Rome's oyster and it is mindblowing for a 2000+ year old building to be preserved to this degree. A puddle had formed directly below the rotunda as the rain had leaked through so badly, it had to be fenced off. I'm still reeling from the incredible architecture within and outside of this temple of yore. Gazing skywards through the 'largest unreinforced concrete dome in existence' and you half expect angels to fall from heaven. 

Salvi's masterful travertine Trevi Fountain, is 26.30 metres high of beautiful that's for damn sure. Despite it currently being closed off and drained of water for renovations, it draws in the crowds regardless. Due to this, we were unable to cast our magical wish at midnight by tossing in a coin to ensure our return but Neptune is bound to grant me a second visit someday. Did you know many were injured and some even died in its making, being crushed by the stone? 

IF YOU SEEK PERFECTION IN SUGAR CONFECTION - Get your laughing gear down to Il Gelato di San Crispino which is extolled by Elizabeth Gilbert's 'Eat, Pray, Love' memoirs. I was lovesick for every lick of my meringue with hazelnut scoop but a schmuck for paying the price I did for the piccola portion. 

1 of the downsides to Rome and Italy in general, which I DETEST are the TOILETS and the lack of hygienic options. Most of the public ones are seat-less and so gross I had to peg my nose. After our gelati, we did need to tinkle and with that, we dashed back to the B and B.. well, I say dashed but really what I mean is we became so disoriented in the dark that we did laps of the same loop.. We really could have done with The Wizard of Oz's yellow brick road to lead us back as neither of us are too hot at this navigating lark!  :D

Munich.. It's ALL yours Germany!

Munich doesn't strike me as a realm for relaxation, for it is monumentally manic. Unsmiley urbanites weren't exactly holding hands and skipping gaily about their merry way. It might be unkind for me to say so but I consider there to be an ugliness about the grubby, litter-strewn streets. I don't know when I turned into such a city snob; I wasn't setting out to write a blog about how much Munchen sucks but I won't be sorry to never see it again. 

ICH HASSE DICH - Maybe we just had dismal luck as we didn't realise all the shops (other than cafes and restaurants) would be closed because it was a Holy day (The Assumption of Maria).. maybe it was because we couldn't blame it on the sunshine, but the drizzly showers!!! Or maybe I was simply not feeling the love because we had a lovely time in cheery Salzburg (with weather that was SO gorge!) only to be met with dreary grey skies and an air of gloom shrouding over the metropolis. 

Just because it doesn't *POP* with pretty that's not to say you can't have yourself a angenehm (= pleasant in German) time! The drunken stags on wild, beery weekenders that they'll NEVER remember, (away from their missus) are certainly living it up on beer bikes, in strip clubs and smoking shisha. As are those in the beergartens while tucking into their curry wurst and jackassing around :D It's unapologetic for the unbridled craziness and I'm too old and boring to be amidst all these shenanigans. 

NO ESCAPE FROM THE THIRDREICH TRACES OF EVIL - I found it quite sad and ominous to make my way round old Nazi Germany, knowing Hitler made his mark and exerted his power so cruelly in the region. So much goes unspoken about this part of Germany's history which is swept under the carpet, to an extent. The shame is tangible but residents cannot hold themselves accountable whatsoever for the nefarious rulings of a past, hateful dictator. 

OFFBEAT ODDITIES - The Marienplatz Rathaus-Glockenspiel - wasn't that much of a spectacle but still drew in the crowds under the clouds. The collective 'ooh' when the creepy figurines actually come to life after several minutes of tinkling is one of the most ridiculously amusing things I've ever seen and heard in my life :D  

Eccentrically, an unofficial jumbo Micheal Jackson shrine has overtaken the lower half of a statue of a Renaissance composer (Orlando di Lasso). The Munchners have not lost their last marbles - it's apparently because this is opposite a 5* hotel that MJ regularly stayed in during his visits to beer city. Fans gather from far and wide, to bestow mementos and love notes beneath the memorial. 

ENGLISCH GARTEN - This was the one part I saw of the city that I actually *did* quite like. Everything was green, bright and autumnal; the leaves crunched beneath our feet. Being bigger than Central and Hyde Park we barely scraped the surface of the grounds but the woodlands were so unexpectedly picturesque, in the most wonderful way. When the weather is fine in the SUMMER time, t'would be a lovely place to picnic. 

Following the Eisbach river we reached the river surfers which the park is famous for. The novelty attracted a small crowd - to watch these chappies ride the waves and do a trick or two, before falling in. It would have been freezing in the rapids as it was a cool day as it was; these blokes literally couldn't be ANY crazier! 

In short, my 24 hours in Toytown were only enough to get the lay of the land. If I'd had longer than a single day in 'its' company .. would I have left kinda liking it? Now, I'll never know.. As the Germans would say, das ist NICHT wunderbar and I highly doubt my love for the village of a million people could have been bought even with schnitzel. Nah, Munich is not for me, mon petit pois xxx