Gilmore Girls Gems *Double Date*

1) Enthusiastically support your friend who requests to be set up on a double date, with your boyfriend's bud. She's hoping to initiate a romantic relationship with him and is 'talking soul mate here.' 

2) 'Some people don't have legs or arms. I have legs and arms. What more could I possibly want than legs and arms?' Some of the completely crazy chat that comes out in the midst of a limb soliloquy. But really, what more could you want? Truly. 

3) Dot the I's and cross the t's of the 'amorphous, theoretical "let's maybe go out sometime and do something not too specific" date floating out there in the universe. The lad has already said yes, so call him to arrange a concrete plan before you lose your nerve. 

4) It's not an eye-opener that people buy cell phones for the exact reason that 'you could get a hold of them anytime you want.' They also come in quite handy for leaving messages of female jibber jabber to the one you want to go out with. Moreover, a cell is indispensable in case your car breaks 'down at night and you need to call someone for help and there's psycho killers.' 

5) 'What are best friends for?' if not to go on a blind double date (though these we hate) as a favour to our mate (as she is feeling ill at ease). Chances are you will regret agreeing to this but it's almost worth it as there's nothing better we like than seeing the yin to our yang, happy.  

6) Squash your what if fears ('What if I'm making an idiot out of myself? What if.. tonight is a disaster and then he won't sell to me anymore?' What if I 'cornered him and he felt trapped and he had to say yes'?) if you let yourself go on this date with the man you like, you'd be happy *all* the time. 

7) 'Tonight is a good thing - whether you find out you're madly in love or you're not meant for each other, it's still a good thing.' Your friend will be right there no matter what because he/she loves that you're in their life and want you to know that. One point to note - you shouldn't open the door with TOO many hi's. 

8) Thank your lucky stars 'you just don't meet a lot of Runes's.' For they 'come into town completely unannounced', eat all your food, crash on your couch and are horrified by tall women. A long and tedious evening is ahead in their complain-y company. Not even a nice guilt trip will encourage them to be pleasant for one evening. 

9) 'I beg of you do not order the fresh mussels' even if they are fresh. 'A lot of times they say 'fresh' and they're not, they're frozen but they're just called 'fresh' because they were fresh when they were frozen. Plus if they're not stored with the correct drainage, they just sit around in their own excretions, which is kind of like sitting around in your own -' Simply avoid their yuckiness and point out the hypocrisy of the freshness stated on the menu. 

10) The world is fine and the friends you've set up are having fun. How do we know this? 'They're not in prison or in some sort of medieval torture chamber.' <----- The standard by which we measure fun, particularly when you are blindly infatuated by a person you have ZERO in common with. 

11) 'No matter how many beers you buy me tonight, I'm not going home with you - so I would concentrate on the one who might.' I'm sure because he fancies you, he thinks your nervous rambling reminiscing with your friend is charming but you can't spend all night not uttering a single word to your date. Relocate for burgers and less pressure if the place is too fancy.

12) Don't you understand how great being tall is? 'You can get all the stuff from the top shelf.'  Explain that to the blind date who doesn't rate your height. Frankly, getting a rectal exam would be more fun than getting stuck with a loon like a Rune. 

13) 'Chicks dig a man with a feminine side' Adding a little nutmeg to a hot beverage in a very Richard Simmons fashion is exceptionally sexy. Since you should not fornicate where you eat, restrain those urges to rip off their clothes then and there!

14) It is too pathetic to 'watch a man walk out on you, then I have to watch you eat alone.' A 5 card draw and friendly chuckles with the man-you-are-meant-to-be-with-but-don't-know-it-yet, will prevent you from being desperately lonely.  

15) It's nice 'the whole "first date, beginning of the relationship" glow. Everything is new and exciting.' 'Every joke is hilarious.' 'Every little touch is incredible.' You miss that gloriously good feeling when it's gone but you'll have it again and a lovely lad will romance your freakin' heart out. 

16) 'Two moms that's gotta be bad.' Lying to another mother (especially to a scary lady) is breaking the code and isn't showing respect. A child may view their buzz kill parent's imposed restrictions as unfair or overly controlling, but generally they have your best interests at heart and care for you more than you think. They just want you to be safe. 

17) Thank your friend for setting you up with the boy who is not the guy for you or 'anybody who can read, write, talk or function on a basic human level.' For if they hadn't, you'd still be in love with them. Nobody wants to dumb their sentences down for a dummy. 

18) 'Teenagers sometimes slip up.' Condemnatory judgments of their actions or locking a kid up and throwing away the key, doesn't always work. That's something to bear in mind when wrapping up a parcel of doom to punish your small fry with. Things may turn out differently with your teens if they have a little space or someone to listen to them. 

19) Goodie goodies 'do not want to incur the wrath of' anyone at all, in spite of how fun their minx of a mother insist it is. 

20) Witty, sexy, kind-hearted men who COOK are very thin on the ground. So maybe you could not rush out before he has a chance 'to kick your ass in poker' again sometime.