2) The need for caffeine and the loss/Mom theft of your Macy Gray CD is a licit cause for crabbiness. Don't let mothers near your CD collection :D
3) Plumbers come, do nothing and that's 100 bucks down the drain. I know, it's 'great' (!)
4) With parents who still get upset at the obscene portion sizes of American food, it is doubted that you'll get any inroads with Eminem or the evil rock music that has musically redefined your universe.
5) Hayrides: the world over is 'still fuzzy on what's fun about sitting out in the cold for 2 hours with a bundle of sticks up your butt.' And being glumly sandwiched between 2 future Korean doctors on one as a date set up by your mother, is somewhat unbearable.
7) Too much maple syrup in peach sauce strangles the fruit. Once fixed, it's so incredible you will want to take a bath in it and diabetics will line up to taste it.
8) Consequent to your beautiful and charismatic daughter getting to do all the things you never did (due to her excellent credentials) you can resent her for it and finally have a normal mother/daughter relationship.
9) There are several chapters of a Steven King novel some would reenact, before resorting to that option of calling your parents for financial help when you are too proud to accept anything from anyone. Either way, it's still as painful as a blow to the head.
10)Using money as leverage to get back into the lives of your estranged family is not an automatic magic fix to all your matters of contention. But it's not like you are now obliged to be present at a weekly family dinner or anything..oh wait, you ARE.
11) Men name their sons after themselves all the time so why couldn't women? Women get expressly angry when in labour and feminism can take over.
12) Just because you're pretty it doesn't mean you know how to chat up cute guys, who have just moved to the area, have been watching you but not in a creepy way and chivalrously carry your box for you. 'So do you like cake? They make really good cakes here..they're very round.' Because boys 'wouldn't want to forget where the round cakes are.'
13) You have incredible concentration when you are so engrossed in the novel you're reading, that you don't even notice when the dumbest guy is nailed in the face with a ball. Or the blood.. or the nurse coming.. or the place in chaos.. OR the girlfriend freaking out.
14) Warnings that 'red meat can kill you. Enjoy!' are wasted on those that LOVE big beefy burgers, hold the salad.
15) Of course it's about a boy when your studious offspring is prepared to give up on important life experiences. He probably has 'dark hair, romantic eyes, looks a little dangerous? Tattoos are good too.' It's flummoxing that these things are unbeknownst to the parent.
17) Guys are great. We are a huge fan of guys, 'you don't get knocked up at 16 being indifferent to guys. But guys are always going to be there.' Do the mum thing and lay down the law that school has to be more important.
18) Mothers and daughters fight - especially over male friends. We get mad and they're not so crazy about us either. But adolescents won't give the 'Mommy Dearest treatment forever.' Your feelings will be pretty beat up, but you'll forgive and won't hate each other anymore once your points of views are understood.
19) 5'7 is tall for a teen girl 'it's freakish, thinking of having her studied at MIT.' You know you're tall but you didn't know you were INSANELY tall - it's not like you're a tree trunk.
20) An education is the most important thing in the world, next to family. 'And pie.' *sigh* Pie is the little pixie from pastry paradise.
21) 'The minute the strip turns pink', you stop being a child.. because you are bearing a child. Once you figure out how to be a parent, you can build and live a lovely life.
22) Can't let a perfectly good plaid skirt go to waist. T'will totally accentuate your pins!
23) A bath has healing powers and can transform a baseball capped bellyaching bachelor into a dashing diner owner with collars on his shirt. You've noticed how cute he can look now and one day you'll see him as soooo hot that you'll want to be his wife.
24) The unhealthy cravings for coffee and chilli fries make for quite a refined palate. Nutritionally, well it kinda sucks.
25) Deliberating on whether or not a guy is dreamy is 'so Nick at Nite'. And when it is your mother asking, you won't get off the hook because they will find out anyway by spying. Spying is famously inaccurate :)
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