Hart of Dixie Wisdom (Gumbo and Glory)

1) Things haven't started off well in your new town if you've sabotaged the parade, made an arch-enemy of a friend's fiancee and misdiagnosed a tick bite..thus tumbling down the societal ladder. Particularly when they are quick to distrust strangers as it is. For your safety, get your breakfast to go if the townsfolk hate you. 

2) A girl parading in front of the Mayor without a stitch of make up first thing in morning, is eyerolled as a 'walking menace'!

3) There's nothing a little Ask Jeeves-ing cannot fix. Anyhow a doc shouldn't need to use a search engine to determine how to cure a snake bite. 

4) No need to look up, when trying to locate a snakey as the poisonous ones don't climb. 'Well cottonmouths sometimes, but not in these parts. Usually.' These are not words of comfort on a serpent search by an honest and gorgeous jackass.  

5) It might be humiliating that you are 'so city' when you are scared and tumble over the rope you've mistaken for a copperhead. 

6) First rule of a snakebite: you can't let the victim overexert themselves. 'What's the second rule, apply pressure to the boob?' (for clarity - it is not unless this is amateur hour) 

7) Proving someone wrong shall make it all the more delicious when you conquer the King of his own castle in a cooking contest. If you beat your business rival - that will just be 'the cherry on the gumbo!'

8) Gumbo pots can be banged on to scare off a possum. Not that possums are the scariest thing in the world or anything. 

9) Historically speaking, 'you're supposed to treat everyone kindly..I think it's in the Bible.' Even those who are so obviously out to destroy your partner. 

10) Alabaman shrimp smiting: Use a butcher block to de-vein *they do have veins even if the recipe says it shouldn't* them by pretending you're doing surgery on a teeny, tiny little shrimpy patient. 

11) 'Any dumbo can make some gumbo.' The secret to a good gumbo is the base - you've got to use fresh tomatoes. 

11) Don't sneak around, pulling a Good Samaritan to help out an attractive doctor, who is not one of your truly terrifying, fiance's favourite people without their permission.  

12) How to woo women when you're a little out of shape at laying on the lady charm: 'Ignore her. Freeze her out.' Men know for a fact chicks dig that from their fancy man. THIS WILL IN FACT MAKE US VERY SAD OR FEEL LIKE WE WANT TO MURDER SOMEONE AND EAT A TUB OR TWENTY OF BEN AND JERRY'S. Really a woman wants 'a romantic gesture. Do that.' If it's important to you not to screw up what you have with your prospective girlfriend. 

13) Get your Alabaman woman on when your Daddy hires a new receptionist; 'you just have to bring that girl a covered dish.' 

14) Wait before calling to thank a man for the flowers, because they enjoy the chase. This will make you even hotter in their eyes and they can't resist you. 

15) The radial artery is connected to the thumb, which you would know if you went to medical school. 

16) Standing and watching while the phony proxy who took all the credit for saving a life *without acknowledging your starring role in it*, whilst making it sound much more heroic than it was, while you're ankle-deep in manure sucks. 

17) It's a dumb thing to advocate that a moral victory is good too to a loser of a contest... 'Nope, moral victories bite.' 

18) There's no point getting involved and opening yourself up to love with the gent you like if you're moving away. 

19)  A 'prideful Southern man can't admit that he had to defer to a woman' in order to be titled the local hero. Sometimes it can work more in your favour to offer your personal congratulations to the champ instead of marching up to the all time worst mongrel and displaying spite. 

20) Upon forewarning your betrothed, that you are about to do something that will make them really angry involving the one they are hating on so much, remind them of your love. It may anesthetise the betrayal an itty bitty bit.

21) Admitting that you went behind your beau's back, (subsequent to her ultimatum where she specifically told you not to speak to that woman) to see another babe, is bound to bring on a barney.

22) When you stay up all night cooking for a girl to do them a solid, (despite them insisting that they 'do not need your advice, help or Alabama lovin') you're a GOOD guy. And one whom is not feeling only pure unadulterated friendship towards said girlo.